Day 12

On Kol Nidre, the Rabbi spoke about technology and social media, and how they are preventing us from listening to each other and making meaningful connections.  He described a scene where a family of five, out to dinner at a restaurant, sat together at a table, each staring at their own personal device, ignoring the presence of the rest of the family members.  He also brought in examples of the importance of listening in Jewish tradition, including when G-d heard Ishmael's cry after Abraham banished him and Hagar to the wilderness, and he spoke about the mitzvah of hearing the Torah. 

Until Tuesday night, I was unable to put into words exactly why I felt that I needed a break from Facebook-- what, in particular, was making Facebook a negative space for me?  The Rabbi's sermon really spoke to me.  He told us how social scientists are exploring the "that's just like me, I-" phenomena where people engaged in conversation believe that by responding "that's just like me, I--" they are agreeing with the speaker and moving the conversation forward.  Instead, they are really just taking the time to speak about themselves without spending any effort trying to understand a more nuanced version of what their partner is saying.

Facebook is the epitome of the "that's just like me, I--" conversation.  Everyone is busy updating everyone else about their lives, but no one takes the time to listen to what people are saying.  People are more interested in sharing about themselves than they are in hearing about others.  It's actually a weird situation when you think about it-- here we have a social media platform that encourages dialogue and connects communities, but if everyone is busy sharing, and no one is listening, then who are you sharing to?  What are you sharing for?  What, exactly, is the point?

Facebook could be such a powerful tool if people listened to others more than they shared about themselves.  If people who posted were genuinely interested in the dialogue that could follow, and were prepared to respond in thoughtful, respectful ways.  Imagine what that community could be.